Let it be said: hiring a hitman is, generally speaking, something that can legitimately be described as abuse. But, today, we share with you some headlines from people who hired killers for really – veruuuumantly – absurd reasons. Don’t repeat this at home. Nor with a friend. Even if that friend told you “oh hey you look very tired today” and you want to hurt him.
1. Jealous, she tries to hire a professional killer to eliminate her colleague
Whitney Franks, a young Englishwoman who had an affair with her boss, couldn’t bear that her new colleague also started a relationship with the boss. Extremely jealous, the girl sought to hire a hitman on the dark web to eliminate her rival (offering a £1000 reward). Fortunately for the other, the cops came across Whitney’s ad, managed to find her identity and arrested her.
2. A boss pays a hitman to shoot a trade unionist
Conflicts between employees and bosses can go badly, but there we reached a peak since a business manager simply decided to eliminate a unionist employee. The woman allegedly ordered the man’s murder before recanting, but the police arrested her anyway because this type of behavior remains mildly toxic. Slightly.
3. She hires a hitman to kill her stepmother so she won’t see her at a wedding.
Invited to a wedding, a woman learned that her mother-in-law (the grandmother of the future groom) was too. And that, she apparently took it badly since she simply decided to hire someone to kill her. Fortunately, she was not discreet enough and her conversation was overheard by relatives who ended up denouncing her. Not sure we should invite her back to a wedding one day.
4. The owner of an animal park hired a hitman to kill an animal rights activist.
Joe Exotic is a wildlife park owner in Oklahoma. The guy is such a crazy character that he was treated to a Netflix documentary series that you can watch if you want to know more, but what interests us today is one of the reasons why he took 22 years in prison in 2020. This reason is quite simply that he decided to hire a contract killer to eliminate Carole Baskin, an animal rights activist who was fighting against his illegal practices. Only, the man Joe Exotic wanted to hire was none other than an FBI agent. Not very smart, guy.
5. A schoolteacher hired a hitman to kill a 7-year-old boy.
The story of this news item is unfortunately even more murky than its title suggests. This Missouri teacher had been convicted of sexually assaulting a 7-year-old child in 2018, and it was in prison that he asked a fellow prisoner, who was soon to be released, to murder the child. Fortunately, the fellow prisoner immediately notified the police once released from prison. The teacher had also tried to hire someone else, but this second attempt also failed. We can only hope that the guy stays in the hole for a long time.
6. He searches Facebook for a contract killer to eliminate Manuel Valls and wins custody
Well, in reality, it’s mostly a bad joke: the 18-year-old guy had posted a humorous ad on Facebook saying he was looking for someone to “kill Manuel Valls”. Except that the joke did not make one of his Facebook contacts laugh, who denounced him to the authorities, who themselves arrested him. He was eventually sentenced to community service and a citizenship internship. The joke is expensive.
7. At 15, he hires a hitman to collect his father’s inheritance sooner than expected
During the first confinement of 2020, a French teenager asked his friends to assassinate his (very rich) father for a reward. The most tragic thing about this case is that the murder did indeed take place and the dad was found shot dead by one of the son’s friends. The police quickly found the culprits by coming across a handwritten contract signed by the two teenagers. The son took 15 years of criminal imprisonment, the same number of years he had lived until then. That should teach the lesson.
8. They hire a hitman and report him for fraud
Come on, let’s end with a slightly different story, because here, more than reason, it’s the consequence of the story that is ridiculous. A Spaniard had hired her son-in-law (her daughter’s husband) to assassinate her companion. Only, the guy, who had accepted the money, did not carry out the plan. That, the mother-in-law took it badly, so she went to the police station with her daughter to complain that her son-in-law had cheated her. Obviously, the cops did not receive their complaint so sympathetically and preferred to arrest them. You really have to be stupid at the same time.