Wow, looks like we’re on time: you were thinking about going under the tattoo artist’s needle. Well, we’re here to stop you. Before you get a tattoo (or give it up), you’re going to read these 20 points that will help you avoid having a shitty life and repeating a mistake that millions of people have made before you. A worse mistake than kidding or sticking your fingers in the toaster to see if it’s really hot. Here’s why you shouldn’t get a tattoo:
1. Everyone has tattoos today.
Do you want to be Mr. or Mrs. Everyone? Of course not. And your tattoo may be original, but that’s what will happen if you start.
2. It doesn’t go away
But really not. No matter how hard you rub, the thing remains. It’s super annoying.
3. It hurts
For you who are already crying when it comes to removing a bandage or plucking a hair from your nose, you’re still not going to stay 1 hour (or 6) to have your skin pierced with needles? It wouldn’t make any sense.
4. When you’re tattooed, you can’t stop telling everyone what your tattoos mean.
While people don’t give a damn about the hidden meaning of your infinity tattoo on your wrist. Really.
5. You are getting old
With your skin already wrinkled, in 2 years your poodle tattoo will look like a Shar-Pei.
6. You have no inspiration
You were so close to getting your wifi code tattooed, it’s a sign that you have better things to do.
7. What it means to you when you do it probably won’t mean anything in a year or two.
Maybe in 6 months.
8. After 15 years, the thing is discolored and no longer looks like anything
“No, but you would have seen it at the time, it was a real multicolored parrot, it was magnificent”
Ok, except that today it’s more like a pigeon than a parrot.
9. Everyone chooses the same designs
The same tattoos over-requested by the same people who think it’s going to make them quirky and unique.
10. It costs a blind
For someone who complains about never being able to put money aside, it’s rather funny.
11. Tattoo artists talk about it phew
And in addition they allow themselves to refuse to tattoo the mandala you wanted on your forehead, what nerve.
12. It’s clearly not going to help you get off more than before.
It’s not the lack of patterns on your arms that’s the problem, it’s the wholeness of your person, take it for granted.
13. You will have to invest a minimum wage in sunscreen
This is where to spend your whole summer in long sleeves. Up to you.
14. The artist to whom your tattoo pays homage will be canceled in 10 years.
You’ll look good when your tattoo pays tribute to someone accused of murder or, worse, of having voted Macron in the first round.
15. When you have made a first one, you will quickly need a second one
Then another. And then it’s rock climbing and you find yourself very quickly with an ugly tattoo on your face. You don’t want to fall into this addiction, believe us.
16. We have never seen a 62 kg Maori
Tattoos are Maori, biker or pirate stuff. You, at the limit, you’re a bit of a pirate, but rather the kind of pirate who has scurvy. Go to the gym instead of the tattoo artist.
17. You’re usually “afraid of needles”
But strangely when it’s to get you inked « CARPE DIEM » on the forearm, there’s no problem.
18. Your mom doesn’t like it
And moms are always right.
19. Because looking back, you think all the looks you’ve had before are ridiculous.
Remember your look in the 2000s with your big lock and your stars made up under your eyes. If you’re ashamed of that today, you’ll probably be ashamed of this tattoo that pays homage to Harry Styles in 10 Years.
20. Once tattooed, you won’t be able to escape the thoughts of old jerks who tell you that it’s going to get old
Exactly like what we’ve been doing for a while now. It was to prepare you for the harsh reality.