The defense of the French language, we are totally for. Moreover, those who say that French is the worst language deserve to bake in hell listening to Bernard Pivot’s dictations over and over. However, French sometimes finds its limits. This is especially felt when it comes to creating character names that slam. For that, English speakers are still much better than us. The proof with these characters who would have gone super badly in VF.
1. Bruce Banner –> Bruce Banner
He’s a guy that when he gets angry he turns into a big green flag. It is useless.
2. Jon Snow –> Jean Snow
He’s a guy who comes from Hauts-de-France and he wants to protect his border so that foreigners don’t come.
3. Harry Potter –> Henri Potier
It’s a guy that he takes his RER to go to the school of magicians and that in fact his godfather escaped from the prison of Fleury-Mérogis well, he is nice.
(If Harry Potter was French, it would suck)
4. Daredevil –> Daredevil
It’s a guy that he’s blind but he doesn’t care he’ll still fight bad guys. Well, of course, he gets knocked out, that’s why we call him the daredevil.
5. James Bond –> Jean Obligation
He’s a guy he regularly saves the world but on the other hand he has to leave at 4 p.m. to pick up his daughter from school.
6. Luna Lovegood –> Lune Bonamour
It’s a girl that she likes her friends and they like her too even if she’s drunk because that’s also the France of fraternity and inclusion.
7. Forrest Gump –> Gaffe Forest
It’s a guy that when he runs he shouts “BIP BIP” all the time. Oh no, sorry, that’s Vincent Lagaf’
8. Jack Sparrow –> Jacques Moineau
He’s a guy that he’s a pirate and also a bit of an alcoholic but instead of rum he only drinks red wine because he’s a good Frenchman.
9. Rocky –> The Rocky
He’s a guy who plays savate, and what’s more, he’s very good at it.
10. Lucky Luke –> Lucien la Chance
It’s a guy who sings the Marseillaise faster than his shadow.
11. Iron Man –> The Iron Man
He’s a guy with a superpower: he doesn’t crease.
12. Darth Vader –> Dark Dad
It’s a guy he has a son but one day he abandoned him saying he was going to buy cigarettes.
13. Luke Skywalker –> Luc Marcheciel
He’s a guy who doesn’t have a dad anymore because he left to buy cigarettes one day and he never came back. And he grabs his sister.
14. Woody –> Woody
He’s a guy who’s actually a toy but he’s going to be tossed in the trash soon because he’s plastic and now wooden toys are all the rage.
15. Jack Reacher –> Jack the Seeker
He is a guy who is interpreted by Thomas Cruise.
16. Peter Pan –> Stone Stove
He’s a guy who kidnaps children at night to take them to the land of imaginary frying.
17. Daffy Duck –> Canard Loufoque
It’s a duck that he will soon end up in breast because he dared to show up in the Southwest.
18. Link –> Lien
He’s a guy who spends his time trying to save his girl because he lives in a dangerous society for women. So he dresses in the colors of EELV because now he is on the left.
19. Sam Fisher –> Samuel Fisher
He’s a guy that he saves the world by attacking guys in the dark from behind.
20. Solid Snake –> Serpent Solide
It’s a snake. No it’s a guy. Finally, we don’t care.
