Hello my little garlic chewing gums. You know my fight against hygiene on a daily basis, I had already let you glimpse the dark side of it in the reasons for not washing or the reasons for not brushing your teeth at night. Today, I decided to tell you about the unbearable ordeal of brushing your teeth in the morning. I have a few good reasons to believe that we are going straight into the wall with this dubious practice.
1. We just finished our breakfast so it’s disgusting we have lots of pieces of crackers in our teeth
Brushing your teeth is like shaking off the semolina of food that’s stuck all over your mouth. Frankly, it’s disgusting. Rinse your mouth at least before. Anyway, washing your snags straight after eating is one of the mistakes we all make with our toothbrush and it can’t go on.
2. Drinking coffee or tea on freshly brushed teeth feels like pouring tar on pure white snow.
And indeed it is, these two divine liquids really stain our teeth as much as tobacco but it is EVEN WORSE when you have just brushed your teeth.
3. We already brushed our teeth the day before so technically we didn’t have much time to get our teeth dirty during the night
Am I right or am I wrong? No, but say it: AM I RIGHT OR AM I NOT RIGHT?
4. It’s wasted sleep time
3 minutes in the morning when you wake up is precious, no time for this bullshit you have to stop getting drunk.
5. It’s too noisy in the morning
I’m mostly talking about the drama of the electric toothbrush, an aberration if you ask me. If there is one way to brush your weird teeth it is to do it with an electric toothbrush in my opinion.
6. You’re going to eat again in a few hours and everything will be disgusting again
Is it really necessary to clean up this building site when you’re going to make a mess on top of it? NOPE.
7. And if I want to stink in the morning, who will stop me?
OK it seems that brushing your teeth in the morning is still useful compared to the fact that the mouth is dry from the weak salivation of the night which develops bacteria and therefore stinky breath.
YEAH AND WELL THEN? Are you from the police? Are we in a dictatorship? We do not have the right to stink of the mouth if it sings to us?
8. Deep down no one will ever know
Don’t repeat it, take a chewing gum, wear a mask, stay away from your colleagues and everything will be fine, your secret will be preserved even in the grave.
9. You find that you don’t see your dentist enough for your taste
Limiting the number of tooth brushings as much as possible would allow you to seriously remedy this tragedy.
10. You’ll save a lot of toothpaste
And by the running teeth there are no small savings. Also think about limiting your consumption of toilet paper and bath towel, these are foodstuffs that will become scarce.
11. Considering how you hurt your gums to rub like a son of fiak, it’s better to give your teeth a little respite in the morning
We saw you brush your teeth, it’s a horror movie.
12. Your saliva macerates all night so like an old wine, it tastes better
Can’t wait to set up my first saliva wine lessons.
13. Anyway the only real good way to brush your teeth is Mr. Bean who invented it.
If you find that my references are old-fashioned, do not hesitate to understand that I am eating it.
