Categories: Lifestyle News

Top 11 Archaeological Discoveries That Prove Modern Man Is Dumb

A few days ago, Slate posted an article quite fascinating about all the archaeological finds that clearly prove we didn’t invent hot water! As they probably said a few centuries ago: let’s give back to Caesar what belongs to Caesar: they are the ones who inspired us with this little top. You will see, it is fascinating to see how our “overly stylish innovations” are in fact pale copies of what our ancient (ancient) (very ancient) ancestors were already doing!

1. We already had toilets in 2500 BC

Archaeological excavations at Mohenjo-daro, a major site of the Indus Valley civilization, which flourished around 2500 BC, show that in each dwelling there were latrines and a place to wash. Even more impressive: there was (cold) running water! In France, the bathroom became widespread in all homes only from the 1970s. Yes, yes, 4,470 years after our ancestors from Mohenjo-daro.

2. In 100 BC, we already had bathrooms and hot water

The wealthiest people of the Roman Empire, between – 100 and 200, had individual baths in their homes. There is a bathroom with bath-pool, and even hot water! Nice this concept of Thalasso invented in the 19th century. What do they mean, they sucked it all up?

3. … But also, central underfloor heating

The hypocaust: this is the small name of this underfloor heating system used by the Romans throughout the Empire, particularly in thermal baths and baths. But it’s even older! The system was already used by the Indus Valley Civilization (really too strong those ones) and by the Greeks as early as the 4th century BC.

4. From the 10th century, people have bathtubs

The bath roughly as we know it today already existed in the 10th century, for the aristocratic class. A little less convenient all the same since they were not connected to running water or to the sewers: it was therefore necessary to have personnel to fill and empty it (no, but they were not going to do it themselves, that wrong or what???). It is also mobile: you take it out if necessary, yes… Exactly like this superb foldable bathtub to wedge in the middle of your 10 m²!

5. Incidentally, the first sewers date back to the 3rd millennium BC

Sanitizing cities is not a modern idea! The oldest civilization to have set up a sewage system is that of the Indus Valley, 2,500 years before our era (YES, AGAIN!!!). The Romans, too, already had canals into which waste water flowed, a system which they covered or buried from about the year 600 BC. What else have we invented? The urban legend of the alligators who walk there quietly, of course!

6. Zoos already existed in Ancient Egypt (unfortunately)

It was in Hierakonpolis, an important city on the banks of the Nile 5000 years ago, that a cemetery excavation revealed several skeletons of animals, including elephants, baboons and hippopotamuses. Several of the skeletons showed signs of fractures that had healed. According to the researchers, these could be animals injured during capture or by being tied up. Still according to them, the healings as they have been observed could only be achieved in a “protected environment”. Among the elements that suggest it could be a zoo: an elephant had eaten acacia twigs and cultivated plants, suggesting that it was fed. In any case, zoos are often crap. Leave these poor beasts alone, and stop bringing your children there!


7. Around 6000 BC, people were already drinking vinasse

Hard blow in the ego of the French: we did not invent anything! Far from there ! Wine was born in the Caucasus many millennia ago. Researchers from the University of Pennsylvania (United States), the Georgian National Museum and the University of Toronto (Canada), have found traces of winemaking on two Georgian archaeological sites. BIG SURPRISE: the wine identified would be… More than 8000 years old! At the age of Pierre (and I’m not talking about our own Pierre Galouise, who is on fire despite his great age), we already knew how to have fun with this sweet beverage!

8. In Ancient Egypt, cosmetic surgery already existed

No offense to Maeva Ghennam, Courteney Cox, Jennifer Aniston, Lindsay Lohan or any of these stars who have never had cosmetic surgery, plastic surgery has its source in… Antiquity! Yes yes ! In the time of the pharaohs, some manuals relate facial operations following war wounds; mummies show that some women had their ears glued back while still alive; rhinoplasty already existed and was performed by incision, with threads made from animal tendons or intestines (yum). In the same way, in India, around 2500 BC, they also reconstructed severed noses. Somewhat later, in the 2nd century AD, an obese Babylonian named Rabbi Eleazar undergoes the first lipectomy in history: fat is removed from his abdomen. In short, Dubai’s scalpel pros didn’t invent anything.

9. The first revival was developed by Plato

This good old Plato lived from 428 / 427 BC. to about 347 BC. A while ago, yeah! We know him for his very deep philosophical quotes such as “Man is the measure of all things”, but that’s not all! He is also the one who invented one of the worst tricks on Earth: the alarm clock. It allowed to mark the beginning of its courses and was presented as follows: it is a clepsydra (antique water clock) which emitted a sound when it emptied. Subsequently, other models emerged in Ancient Rome, Asia and the Middle East. Among these creations: the Chinese fire clock. Mechanical models only appear in the 13th century.

10. The first robot was invented in the 4th century BC

The first invention considered a robot is the wooden pigeon capable of flying thanks to steam, built by Archytas of Taranto in the 4th century BC. JC. Some time later, Philo of Byzantium invented the first humanoid automaton, capable of automatically serving wine and then water when a glass was placed in his left hand.

11. Automatic doors have been around since the 1st century

You weren’t expecting this one, were you? Oh yeah, another thing that comes straight from Ancient Greece! This time, it was Heron of Alexandria who created the first automatic opening system, by hydraulic means, in a temple in Alexandria. If he had known that now all good self-respecting shopping centers have dozens of them, he would be completely stunned.

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