It’s not because we’re on vacation that we’ve put aside our little quirks as parents and our dreams as repressed children. The beach has a knack for bringing together a hell of a panel of parents that we couldn’t resist introducing you to.
1. The Dictator of Fun
Snowshoes, balls, yoga exercises and jogging with his feet in the water… If this dad is not a PE teacher in need of students during this summer period, he is therefore necessarily a trader from the business district. of La Défense, which has just started its decompensation phase. Just talking about it, we are on the verge of burnout.
2. The sand architect
Because she wants to escape from this endless space-time loop where she is held prisoner – a gif that could be broken down as follows: fill the bucket / unmold the sand / crush the pâté. This mother has decided to take her life back into her own hands and it literally starts with building the castle she deserves. She wants moats, she wants a turtle on the pontoon and shells all along the ramparts because yes, sweetheart, we’re worth it. Said heart, meanwhile, proceeded to fill the jersey with sand. Activity that he considered simpler and more playful.
3. The saltwater lifeguard
His baby is 4 days old and cries at the slightest drop of water that touches him, but no, the guy has decided that the initiation to swimming is now. Where others would have contented themselves with coming with the essential armbands and buoys, he totally broke the surfboard because it’s never too early to learn to be one with the wave. Besides, her baby is already sporting the platinum blonde look. Natural coincidence on the part of our dear little darlings? We still have doubts…
4. The tourist
She is lying on her towel, a crossword puzzle in her hands, on which she pretends to concentrate nonchalantly. There isn’t the slightest grain of sand on her towel and we have the impression in contact with her that the sea gently rocks us while the last drops of water on her perfectly tanned skin evaporate gently. But what is its secret? She went on vacation without the children. Genius.
5. The Jamy of the beaches also called the Mac Lesggy of the playa
He decided to make this time of relaxation a didactic moment where he could explain to his kid that the blue of the sea is partly due to the reflection of the sky – he decides to wait until next year to add that it t is also above all a story of wavelengths, each responsible for the visible spectrum. Despite this delicate attention, little Eglantine will have decided to run to the ice cream parlor to ask him why it is so difficult to choose between raspberry and pistachio. Simple and pragmatic answer from the trader: I give you two balls?
6. The drill
It’s a bit like the architect of sand but where the castles of the Loire would have given way to the official Olympic swimming pool of the 2024 Olympics. His kid had undertaken to dig a simple hole and if necessary make a small footbath which would have occupied him for a good easy hour. But the very moment he asked for help with his modest paddling pool, the child read in his mother’s eyes that she would play her career there as a working mum and that he had better join the other brat. 500 meters for the activity “filling the bathing suit with all the sand you find”.
7. Overbooked fine sand
He did not deign to remove his T-shirt and his phone vibrates every 2 minutes. Since he arrived he has been complaining about the rotten network and the noise of the waves. He stuck his kids at the dolphin club to finish his last emails quietly. Suddenly, he sees in the distance a young toddler who is learning to swim with his dad. This scene upsets him and he will spend the rest of the holidays, his tie tied on his forehead, leading all the workshops at the dolphin club, thus reconnecting with the childhood of which he had once been deprived. It is said that today he has become a stay-at-home father and makes the best rainbow cake in the country.
8. The Bedouins of the Côte d’Azur
The parasol as the ultimate protection against the sun, very little for them. They pitched their huge tent as soon as they arrived and have not left it since. The children, though spread with sunscreen and decked out in hats covering their necks, are strictly prohibited from leaving the Quechua shelter. Nobody really knows what they look like but it is said that at nightfall they would leave the beach via an underground tunnel dug by their ancestors 500 years ago.
9. The Mary Poppins of La Grande Motte
From the outside, her beach bag looks like anyone else’s on the beach. And yet, whatever her children ask of her, she will have it in her bag. SPF 50 sunscreen, glasses, caps, armbands, water bottles, beach toys, snack biscuits and even change for the donut seller. It even seems that if you ask her for drugs there would be only one reason for her to say no to you: you didn’t say the magic word.
10. The Peter Pan of Palavas-les-flots
Since he woke up, he was impatient to be able to go and test his latest acquisition with his children: a scratch ball game in garish colors half green half bright pink. He only became a father to make sure he always had someone to play with on the beach. He alone combines half of the categories: the dictator of fun, the architect of sand, the driller and the lifeguard in salt water. But it is especially very appreciated by the co-parent whom you will see, a little further on, waking up from his nap… Well, the tourist was therefore welcome with her children. And their father, therefore. Genie (bis).