Sometimes we agree to things without worrying too much about the fallout, like when we’re asked to help out with a move that “will go fast, don’t worry” when we have to cross twelve countries with a truck puking useless furniture while being chased by the Mexican mafia (that’s specific I know). When you agree to subscribe to certain things you don’t necessarily expect it to be for life and yet, once the contract is signed, you can’t opt out at all.
1. The CPF account
The worst thing is that we are not really subscribed, it just clings to our life like a mussel to its rock, coming back every day in the form of emails, SMS, calls, people waiting for us in front of our apartment with signs shouting “you only have three months left to enjoy your formatioooon account”.
2. The gym
You signed up once in January for New Year’s resolutions eight years ago and you’re paying monthly when you didn’t even know the room closed three years ago to be replaced by an electronic cigarette store.
3. Canal +
We subscribed when there was still Nowhere Else to watch all the funny stuff that wasn’t all in the clear and since then we’ve never canceled, which isn’t a bad thing after all. that there are quite a few series and films available.
Here is a commitment for life, a real one: until death as they say in church and until divorce as they say at the town hall. A nice bullshit to get married, it’s expensive and it solves absolutely no couple problem, it’s even quite the opposite.
5. Picsou Mag
You subscribe at the age of eight to get the little gifts and you find yourself at 34 still receiving them and having to free up a room in your apartment to store all the stupid gadgets. It’s clearly the best subscription you can have though.
6. The Yves Rocher Newsletter
You buy a cream once by giving your email address to get a discount and presto, it’s over: all your life you’re going to receive ads for cosmetic products and order like a big victim who gets screwed over by the newsletters (I don’t judge not I am the same).
7. A charity
You give five euros once in the street by filling out a little form in which you file your email and it’s already too late, they know everything. No more respite, no more freedom, the only way out is death. A little extreme but hey, it’s the only emergency exit.
8. Fix his parents’ computer
We lend a hand once because well, it’s the darons what, we have to help, but then the parents turn into kids and the roles are reversed: we have to feed them with small pots, change their diapers and confiscate them their voters card. Old age is a shipwreck.
9. Make kids
Probably the biggest commitment in history: kids are for life and there’s no way to get rid of them. Finally there are, but it’s rarely positive stuff, the only thing allowed is to pass it on shamelessly to grandparents every weekend.
These big bastards who arrive every year and steal French money to build stupid sidewalks for people on scooters, go and roast your ass at the brazier.