Top 10 dumbest news stories, champions of the week #392

Hi my bee hives, how are you on this beautiful Sunday at the start of the holidays? Yeah, I’m having a break today walking through the enchanted mountains of the Alps and I’m letting my colleagues manage with the tops, the champions of the week and the camembert that I stashed in the radiator next to Louise’s desk, the my least favorite colleague. Be that as it may, it’s my last duty before departure, that of giving you the list of the champions of the week, these unusual miscellaneous facts that we find partly thanks to” rel=”noopener” target=”_blank”>@Well Named.

1. Perpignan: he gets stuck in a trash can, the firefighters intervene

Topito’s analysis: What was he originally trying to do? The story doesn’t say it, or maybe it does but I’m packing my suitcase at the same time so I didn’t check. But try not to bullshit the firefighters, they have work to do.

2. A thief hides inside a giant teddy bear to avoid getting busted

Topito’s analysis: The idea is not completely absurd or null, or even absurd. It was a good hideout, but he got busted anyway. How many different pants do you take when you go on vacation for two weeks?

3. They get married at the McDo of the ZAC de Mercières, the staff sprinkles their car with champagne

Topito’s analysis: Here is finally a marriage which has the mouth, it is nevertheless something other than these receptions with caterers, arbours and fifty minutes of wait between each tiny dish which one eats in twelve seconds.

“They stopped at the outside terminal and then placed an order. We knew they would be hungry at this moment, because the day is long.

Posted by OISE WEEKLY on Tuesday, August 9, 2022

4. Drôme: Arrested for his first day as a dealer in Valence

Topito’s analysis: If we put his illegal activity in comparison with a normal job, we can still say that he was fired on his first day of work. The good news is that since he was obviously not made for that, he will be able to think about another activity.

5. Lozère: a new world record for the duck dance

Topito’s analysis: On the one hand you really have to stop with the bullshit world records and on the other hand the duck dance was never cool, even when the music was released. We already suffer enough every day to inflict such things on ourselves.

6. London: Chess players compete in apnea at the bottom of a swimming pool

Topito’s analysis: They better play fast. Well, I don’t really have a valve. I don’t know anything about chess and the last time I went to the pool a kid had shit in the deep end so good.

7. A Canadian minister swallows a bee in the middle of a press conference

Topito’s analysis: And it’s boring for several reasons: first because it’s more or less protected the bees, then because it can sting the throat and become very serious, moreover it makes her a little bad when you’re a minister and finally it really, really tastes bad, its mother bees.

8. Japan: drunk, a policeman loses confidential documents concerning 400 people including a criminal suspect

Topito’s analysis: It always hurts her to do something stupid at work when you’re drunk, because it’s more or less professional misconduct. But there are still jobs where it’s more serious than others to be drunk, policeman but also airplane pilot or diving teacher.

9. Spain: filmed without knowing it by television, he steals a bag on a beach in Barcelona

Topito’s analysis: They really stop at nothing these journalists, always there to meddle in what does not concern them to sell newspapers by preventing the good people from doing their job. Well, it was the work of a thief for once so it’s not so bad but still, it’s abused to film people like that.

10. Triathlon: a runner collapses from cramps as he proposes to his girlfriend

Topito’s analysis: It’s stupid because the timing was not too bad, after a great sporting achievement, wanting to propose was original. But there it doesn’t give a fuck, it’s a little stupid and above all I hope that his companion said no, don’t marry a nullos.

?? – A runner collapses in pain following cramps when he asks for his partner’s hand, a scene that took place at the end of an Ironman??

Posted by on Wednesday, August 17, 2022

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