After the cartoons of our childhood, we are now tackling the series. Yeah, we are like that. We drop the masks! BOOM. So what are you going to do, huh? Apart from crying torrents when I learned that… WOW, I was on the verge of spoiling you.
1. Esteban of the Cities of Gold, often faced with death
AHAAAA AH AH AH AAAAAAH ESTEBAN, ZIAAAA, TAOOOO, THE CITES OF OOOooooOOOR! We all remember the credits, the adventures of the three friends, Mendosa and the golden falcon, but we tend to forget that the protagonist had a good shitty childhood. As a baby, Esteban sees his father die in a storm at sea. Even if, at the time, he doesn’t really realize what’s going on, it’s traumatic enough to start his life. Brought back to Barcelona, he was then brought up by Father Rodriguez. ET VLAN, his only reference dies when the young Spaniard is only 12 years old. Since living through so much horror doesn’t seem like enough, he’s also acrophobic (an uncontrollable, irrational fear of heights). No, it’s not a great thing, but it’s a bit of a pompom on the Garonne, what!
2. Laura Ingalls suffered an attempted rape
If this little family really existed, the series, actually based on the autobiography of Laura Ingalls, has been largely fictionalized. In the original version of the book, Pioneer Girl, published in 2019, we learn that Laura’s life is much less cute than the series would have us believe. The little family had, in reality, no pretty little house in the middle of the fields, but chained the shabby motels. Worse, while she was going to the bedside of a sick woman, her husband would have violently attacked Laura, trying to rape her. A much more trashy life story than what the television version lets us see.
3. Powerpuff girls are created in the lab
Belle, Bulle and Rebelle: the three superheroines of our childhood, regularly called by the mayor of Metropolis to fuck up the bad guys. Pretty badass these little chicks. On the other hand, we tend to forget a little detail that is much less healthy: they are created from scratch, in the laboratory, by Professor Utonium, to be perfect little girls. It’s even explained in the credits. The what? Ethics? Don’t know, sorry.
4. Nelson Muntz in The Simpsons was dropped
Nelson Muntz is presented as a bully, a real tyrant who terrorizes all the children of Springfield. But as my mother says behind wickedness there is often suffering (yes, my mother is a saint). Nelson is therefore a little boy who has experienced quite significant traumas, in particular the abandonment of his father. The latter left to buy cigarettes and never returned. This scene breaks my heart, poor little father.
5. Sophie, in Sophie’s Misfortunes, had the worst childhood ever.
Well… There’s still a big clue in the title. The cartoon series, adapted from the novel by the Comtesse de Ségur tells the adventures of Sophie de Réan. And the poor little girl really has no luck in life: she already sees little of her mother, often on business trips. A mother who dies before her eyes, with her uncle and aunt, in the sinking of the frigate Sibyl, when Sophie was only seven years old. His father survives, but catches tuberculosis. Frightened at the idea of dying leaving his daughter an orphan, he marries Madame Fichini, daughter of a wealthy industrialist. Once married, the young woman reveals her true face and mistreats Sophie. His father dies. The little girl finds herself alone with this awful stepmother who whips her and proclaims to anyone who will listen that she is in a hurry: “to get rid of the kid.” It’s hard to get creepier, right?
6. … A traumatic childhood also for Phoebe in Friends
Phoebe is the eternal child of the gang: it’s Ross who teaches her to ride a bike with the small wheels, she believes in Santa Claus until Joey is forced to reveal the truth to her, and she almost swallows everything we tell him. But behind these seemingly funny facts, there is a much less funny reason: she had an abnormally traumatic childhood. Her mother committed suicide, her father is in prison and the young woman spent several years on the street. So. So we stop making fun of him and give him a lot of love, thank you.
7. Arnold, in “Hey Arnold!” is an orphan
Nine-year-old Arnold lives with his grandparents, Phil and Pookie in Hillwood City, where they run a boarding house. By following the daily life of this little blond head, we tackle themes such as sport, school or family. Especially the family: Arnold searches at all costs for information on his parents, who have disappeared since childhood. Sad. Arnold is actually an orphan. And that pains us.
8. Sarah, in Princess Sarah, goes from dream life to maid
In the section of very trashy childhoods: little Sarah, heroine of the series, herself inspired by the novel ” The little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Motherless, she was placed in boarding school by her wealthy father, who had gone to India. He dies in turn. Her death transforms Sarah’s dream life into a nightmare: she is relegated to the rank of maid, lives in the attic, at the mercy of the terrible director, and is bullied by everyone. As much by his colleagues as by Lavinia, a rich boarder. Ptdr do you remember when on “noon les zouzous” they first played “Sophie’s misfortunes”, then “Princess Sarah” in stride? Too many bars, thumbtacks. A hell of a mood after that.
9. Will, in The Prince of Bel Air, is twice abandoned by his father.
In Prince of Bel-Air, the main character, played by Will Smith, is abandoned for the first time by his father when he is only a child. 14 years later, the latter comes back into his life to spend time with him. A short-lived happiness for the young man: when they have to go on a trip together, he abandons her a second time. Thank you the trauma… Horrible this scene, bug. It gives us a slap………..
10. Toupou, in the series of the same name, lives in a tree
Toupou, the wild child, aka a little girl who lives in a tree in the middle of Central Park and who is regularly chased by the guard. Not trivial. Wondering what’s creepy in there? Bah… a little girl, homeless, visibly without parents, without access to hygiene, and who constantly has to dodge the traps of an old caretaker, isn’t that enough? What more do you really need? That she lives barefoot? BAH IT’S THE CASE JUST LOOK.
11. Bonus: The sad fate of Bernard, Dewey’s hamster in Malcolm
Remember: in season 3 of Malcolm in the middle, Dewey brings home Bernard, the Hamster that the students in his class have in turn. Problem: after Dewey, it’s the turn of Lance, the big bully, to welcome the rodent. NO QUESTION for Dewey to take the risk that his new little friend suffers: he makes him an orange ball, and gives him enough food for “the rest of his life”, before releasing him. The rodent becomes a running gag that appears throughout the season. SURPRISE, it is in fact in “The Simpsons” that Bernard’s tragic end is revealed… We can see the skeleton of the poor beast, still trapped in his little orange ball. RIP (which is an acronym for “requiescat in pace” and not “rest in peace”. There you go.).